"He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?"

Micah 6:8 (NKJV)





I've been away from church for a month

I've left God

I've shattered my own dreams

I've turned others away

I think it's time to pick up the pieces and start living as a Christian again.

I'm fed up with a life of carnality.

I'm fed up with arguments and hate.


I reject the devil, and his lies.


I'm going for God, and no one is going to stop me.


some say i'm crazy, others say im a fool to go back


I say, i survived through this tribulation, and i'm stronger as ever in Christ the Redeemer.

More than a conqueror, i know i've overcomed it with God.

hey..


just came back from church.


I know that this is home. it really is.


the home i've been lookng for. yeah.

:) hoGc..i'm staying with you


Im sorry for being such an idiot.

losing my morals..good behaviour. my character, Jesus in me, to the world..

"Return to your own house, and tell what great things God has done for you."
Luke 8:39 (NKJV)



i know that God is speaking to me to come back to His house.


I feel it screaming at me every turn, you've got to come back home!

from justine's blog



The Weary

Isaiah 40:30 (NKJV)

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

Yes, shocking as it may seem. Even the young will grow weary and will fall. It is not easy to be consistent.

There are times where the mind will tell you, it is not possible to go on. It is foolish to give. It is unfair. It is so tiring to commit and love unconditionally.

That day will come, when you are force to make that same decision you made a long time ago. But will you stay the same? Will you press on? Rededicate your life?

Or will you let go? Give up, put down all the resposibilities and leave?

See, it is never going to be easy to stay focused. Life will never be a bed of roses. And bad things do happen to good people. But how you react to it is the most important thing. Think about it, it is always up to you to choose how you want to think and react. Your mind will always be a battlefield.

Either you stand firm in what you belief or you doubt and let it all go.
It is not easy. It is not easy. But everytime I get discourage and grow weary, I always remember this



"God did not promise days without pain; laughter without sorrow; sun without rain - But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."
Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.





got to find my way back home

where should i go

SHIT LA




i feel like giving up on trying to come to church


i dont understand why every time there's something in my way

or what on earth i'm going thru this for

some say i'm going for my friends

others say i'm crazy

i know i dont need them to believe in what's Right in God

but why the hell, do we have to face these bloody obstacles and people in our lives?



HOW DO I GET RID OF THEM WHILE TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK


it has driven me insane since the start of disunity between my spiritual family

everyone's so insecure, so untrustworthy



it's conflicting, i trust them but i do not. i know i have to do it but i dont want to!




WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD




I WANT TO GIVE UP, BUT I KNOW I CANT STOP RUNNING THE RACE



I WANT TO LEAVE, BUT I'LL BE HOMELESS


I WANT TO RUN, BUT I'LL ONLY HURT MYSELF

WOOHOO


1. I signed up in potong pasir CC and now i have a range to shoot
2. Managed to fit my Samick Kit into a good tote bag (no more bulky cartel hahahahaaa)
3. Fixed the nocks (somehow) of my damaged arrows
4. Woke up in time for NUS competition today..miracle



comp today was interesting!

hey.



Past few days have been tough, been training archery in school..Realised that after i got sick my form and physical fitness went down a huge bit ): Getting used to my samick athelte..still got some difficulty in the control and release of my shots, and well as the tension i get when i start shooting more ends at the field. But still, i'm confident that things will go well!

It's been interesting observing how some of the more experienced archers shoot at SAJC field and school. The clockwork, aim, timing, relaxation and precision in their shots is immense, and rehearsed..can't wait to see how the archers all shoot at the coming NUS competiton this saturday!

Okay, gotta get back to briefing. Until then guys. (:

i am suffering from dystopia in my soul.


omg.








haha. madness.

hey.

I havent had a chance to talk about my life outside spirituality, and since im taking a break from studying and i need to get stuff out of my head..why not?




Life since poly started has changed my perception, mindset and thinking a very high degree.


I realise that i was really living in a world spoonfed and sheltered that i took advantage of to the fullest, and i regret that completely now.

Life in school is so much comprised up of projects, lectures and stress that has to a great degree made me understand more of becoming a social entrepruner, but has also made me realise alot of truths in this world that i deem just horrible, strange and absurd.

You can say that NP in all it's nice goodness just plunged me into the end of the deep pool, and i just surfaced gasping for air and wondering why NP's killing me.




Some of my random floating thoughts..

Studying Economics and current issues- I've really come to a slow realization that this world has locked itself in a natural, satanic, self-degratory, dishonourable and self-destroying system, a mixture of Self presevation linked with the great evil and good desires of a human being, Ignorance, pleasure and indifference. And all for the cause of earning more money.

I analyse and process what i see about life and i understand how horrible life is and how destructive it's effects are- but i see that at least i'm doing something great by learning to be a social entrepruneur. Learning the wisdom, the way, the effective process of helping others help themselves.

But still, with great thought and analysis with some of my good friends- i realise that at the end of the day, if we come to a conclusion of life and what we do, we just kill ourselves trying because to a human person, no one can understand fully exept God above why we do what we do and why we see it is worth it.


To me: Social entrepruneur is a smart person using a smart way to help others help themselves and others. It's solving the root of poverty.


our goal is to eliminate poverty- a highly utopian dream

but eliminating poverty is to eliminate ourselves as a cause. we would turn to become the butchering, self sustaining, self-pleasing for-profit organizations as we achieve our goal. and as you know it, poverty starts rising again.




It's because of the damn system..and who put the system in place? ourselves..


I would say now the world has screwed itself over in complexity, but well.




5 things dominate my mind right now

1. God's God, i'm not, He decides the best for the world according to His will
2. I have no power to change the world economy
3. I have a limited power to help others
4. I have to learn to effectively help others
5. Let's try to help others anyway, now.




It sort of goes like this now:

"I want to help a hungry poor man fish, but give him a fish and he survives a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll survive a lifetime.

I learn how to coach a man to be an independent thinking and innovating fisher - He not just survives, he enjoys a lifetime of fufillment and teaches others to be the same- if not better.

Somewhere along the way someone will distort this and people will fish for evil.

But i cannot change it as people have a choice to accept help and use that power for good or evil.


At the end of the day, the world will be in between good and evil, love and hate.




But God dissolves all human boundaries, forgoes any scarcity principle, destroys the economic system and puts in place a utopian life where He is in the center and all things are possible according to His will."



above economic principles and market systems..foolish people, thinking and acting..it's Faith that makes a difference.