I can still see the light
at the end of the tunnel shine
through the dark times
even when I lose my mind

But it feels like no one
in the world is listening
and I can't ever seem
to make the right decisions

I walk around in the same haze
I'm still caught in my same ways
I'm losing time in these strange days
but somehow I always know
the right things to say

I don't know what time it is
or whose the one to blame for this
Do what I believe what I can't see
And how do you know
which way the wind blows

Cause I can feel it all around
I'm lost between the sound
And just when I think
I know, there she goes

[Chorus]
Goodbye for now
Goodbye for now
So long

Goodbye for now (I'm not the type to say I told you so)
Goodbye for now
So long (I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin go)

When will we sing
A new song
A new song

We’re still smilin as the day goes by
and how come nobody
ever knows the reasons why
Burry you deep so far
you can't see

If you're like me
who wears a broken
heart on your sleeve

Pains is troubles that
you know so well
Either time don't
It can't or you just won't tell

I'm not the type to say
I told you so
I think the hardest part
of holding on is lettin it go

I don't know what time it is
or whose the one to blame for this
Do what I believe what I can't see
And how do you know
which way the wind blows

Cause I can feel it all around
I'm lost between the sound
And just when I think I know
there she goes

Goodbye for now
Goodbye for now
So long

Goodbye for now (I'm not the type to say I told you so)
Goodbye for now
So long (I think the hardest part of holdin on is lettin it go)

[Repeat]
When will we sing
A new song
A new song

And you can sing until
theres no song left (song left)
And I can scream until
the world goes deaf (goes deaf)

For every other word
left unsaid you should
have took the time to
read the sign and
see what it meant

In some ways everybody
feels alone so if the
burden is mine then
I can carry my own

If joy really comes
in the morning time
then I'm gunna sit back
and wait until the
next sun rise

Goodbye for now
Goodbye for now
So long

Goodbye for now (I'm no the type to say I told you so)
Goodbye for now
So long (I think the hardest part of holdin on is lettin it go)

[Repeat 2x]
When will we sing
A new song
A new song

Goodbye for now.

I am just the most, retarded piece of crap in the world. There's no turning back the clock now it's just like that. So I'm just going off. I'm not being friends with anyone or anything anymore cause it's so obvious alrealdy, that i cannot, do shit. I cannot, be a better man. I'm, a coward, only concerned for myself, and not to others. I'm, a rude person, saying what he wants and nothing else. I, am a idiot. I don't think that i say. and i just say it. I'm worse than Osama bin laden. He killed people with bombs but i hurt people with words and rend souls and just anyhow do it. at least osama has a reason. I just do it out of pure anger. So well i'm just going to go off. maybe delete my blog. msn. friendster. make sure no one meets me or be my friends cause all i do is make trouble and do shit. I'm like, Billy in James Blunt's songs! Well. no use turning back the clock. just move and suffer. I'm looking like a freaking idiot posting thing. I don't deserve to be even like, posting SHIT. I'm a demon deserved to DIE, and I am not worthy of GOD's GRACE or JESUS'S LOVE.


Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
Holds his head in disgrace (he can't escape the truth).
He knows the price that he's paid.
He admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid.
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
He's got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain).
He accepts it's his fate.
He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong.
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

Once he was a lover sleeping with another.
Now he's just known as a cheat.
And he wish he'd had a mirror; looked a little clearer.
Seen into the eyes of the weak.
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.



Oh Billy indeed.

I am so sian. I seriously have decided i shouldn't really socialize or make friends anymore cause all i do is make things worse. I mean. look guys. what on earth have i done? nothing right? i shouldn't deserve your friendship anyway.

11 am. recess. ate with friends. Pierre. Melvin. Yu Ming. Ben Poh. Daryl. Hansel. Couldn't be bothered about time, so i went class late. just walked all the way up.

1200. Amaths. didn't pay any shit attention cause i felt damn sian. Just wasted time insulting gareth and Talking with mel.

1235. P.E. Pe was sian. boring. Anton suddenly became depressed. I'm just worried for him as a friend. Heared that someone smsed smth vulgar to his gf. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow. Make sure he's allright.

120 English. Had vocab test.

200. Went home. sian. didn't really want to go tution. Dumped myself on the bed. had a shower. Put on my jeans and japan shirt

.500 Tution finish. on the car home i became sian again.

530. reach home blogging. Sian.I'm going to run off one day and just go somewhere where no one can find me. and just think. I don't feel like being friends. all i do is cause problems. i guess. Well at least i got my bible and buddhist books to give me comfort. I'm probrably going to take them along the day i run away. I'm just demented. Screw me. ='( I'm just going to be another depressed sod like anton.

HEyy people. Well, I'm kinda sad still nowadays, But I guess It's fading away. I'd like to thank Chloe by the way, for being a great friend and sticking by me and talking to me. Thanks Chloe. =) also I'd like to thank Zhiwei, And dion for giving me encouragement too, I really like that. thanks you three. =) So anyway. Today i was wondering about me. and what I've been doing. I'm not too satisfied by some peolpe and what others say. Sometimes, I think it's just not right to argue
and just argue
and just continiue like that
for example
some peolpe may argue that the world was not created by god
some people may argue wether buddha was a man
some people may argue wether mohammed was a true story.
But i think maybe arguing is not the way
perhaps it's doing what's needed now.

As Michael Liberty Said:
I went into the millitary thinking that it was another beuocracy.
Filled with cowards and money-minded corprate fools.
Well, I was right, and i was wrong.
There are people trying to save lives, save bodies, Save their souls.
Save others. People are dying, people are fighting, and most of the time we don't know why.
But i guess it's our place to go and help rather than sit behind a keyboard or a tv camera
and talk all day.

Maybe i guess it's time to do things right and be practical
rather than argue who's right and wrong
and waste time eh?
Maybe it's time i just do smth and smth right. =)
well enough about what i think. About today. well nth much happend. went school. had Chem SPA after school with a couple of friends and my maths teacher. haha. her name is WanYi. Same name as my cousin. ahhaha, andreas went like 3e wanyiwanyiwanyiwanyi just to disturb her. Then..hmm..Oh yeah, Yin Li's chair broke, it was super funny...what else. Oh yeah, In P.E..david got whacked in the *ya know* like two times with the sponge ball, Gareth Fell down with a splat while running and while david was like "Gareth! Don't fall down or your fats will splatter!" and he was like "Shut up lah you-&*BAMMM!" HAHAHHAH. anyway. Don't feel like posting. oh wait. Chloe's asking me to post. lol. Hmmmmms. hmms. What to post. lol.

10 things i found out recently
1. I started to eat a lot.
2. I started to run alot.
3. I like running.
4. I feel depressed sometimes. actually most of the time.
5. I think having a ponytail, wearing a tight shirt and jeans is absoultly hot.
6. I like Violin Music.
7. I like to scratch my left cheek.
8. My hair is long. very. long.
9. I have eyebags (See grand daughter? You're not alone!)
10. The last time i said shit was two miniutes ago.

I'm so sian.
Well i don't know why.
Well maybe i do.
Well somehow i just think I'm a extra person
sorta like an unimportant cameo in a movie
the bad guy with no name who gets killed in one second in a movie and no one cares.
I have no idea why i feel that though
it's as if i've done nothing to help people
made no difference in their lives
or in mine.
I just feel like I'm waiting for something to happen
when i should be out there
helping people
making them feel better
helping them clean up the mess
saving lives
perhaps saving souls
But I just am a simple person
an extra at school, in life.
I've done nothing to help people at all
and in the end I'm just a pushover idiot
standing in the middle of the field
where everyone's left and lightning's about to strike
And I've got nothing to do.
In fact
I don't think I've got anything useful to give or help
or i don't have skills to myself
that's why i don't make a difference in people's lives.
and when i try to help
in the end i get laughed at or scorned
and In the end I'm like a clown.
I don't think i should help people anymore
but that makes me sad cause i can't stand peolpe suffering.
Whenever i try my best
and in the end i lose my temper trying
sometimes people hate me.
that's why i guess i am so sian now.
I try to help but in the end I'm a weight.
and I've done absolutely nothing for them.
I'm useless.


I don't know why. I just find comfort in this song. I'm just going insane that's why. i think.

Another one of my thoughts.
I was talking to a very nice girl called chloe today.
I just thought while talking to her
and she made me think as well
Sometimes, i tink we are fated to be friends.
Sometimes, i think the lord or someone decided that we'll meet in this lifetime.
Maybe..we met as relatives or friends in the past lives,
But i don't know.
Sometimes i think Maybe it's just like that
and we met for co-incidence.
I don't know.

You know sometimes, I just sit around and think,
and sometimes i just think of things to think of.
Today, I thought about love and hate.
Sometimes i guess
love and hate is there
because it's there
because the lord made it
and it's there.
But sometimes,
I jut think that love is there for a better reason
and sometimes
just not hate
and suffering
I think that sometimes
love and hate can exist seperately
but sometimes
love has to come with hate
as part of the experience
and part of teaching us in life
Maybe love isn't what i think it is
maybe it is, but i don't know
sometimes, love is there in different forms
love as a friend
love as a relative
love as a lover
God's love
sometimes love is bad
like making love
causes so much suffering
aids and other things just because of that
Also i think sometimes love is there to break up
and kill people and cause problems.
But sometimes i think
love is there to help people
give them a sense of comfort
and love and protection
especially security
Offering love and protection and affection
and not forsaking someone
maybe it is a good thing to them
and as well as you too.
But sometimes
It happens like that and i don't know
what to do most of the time
But i usually tell myself that love
is not ready for me
and I'm not ready for l0ve
and i have my life to live.
But sometimes
i think that i should love someone
to give that sense of security
and affection. BUt what should i do?
Sometimes i am confused
because i don't know what to choose
But i think
maybe loving someone
and taking that opportunity to take care of them
is good and nice
and is a good deed, even a holy deed to do
Maybe sometimes
you can tell me and tag me and tell me what you think
and I'll think about it
and if you think you want to know about what i think
I can talk to you.
Well i hope nowadays
there are people who want to be loved
and in the end there will be no suffering at all
and the lord will take everyone and make them happy
and everyone will understand the true meaning of happiness
just as the buddha, and jesus, and god, and allah, and other divine beings found.
I really pray one day that this will happen
and the world will be allright
and love will continue to help
and take care of people.
I just hope that love isint what i think it is.
I hope you people can read this
and tell me what you think.

Whasup. Ok, I'm going to post about what's been happening to me over the past few days, and a later tribute. =)

Well, On Thursday was Publications elections for the executive comitee of 2007. Mervyn's the President now, Ian's the vice and student editor, Luke's head of photography, Weslely is Head of animationa and film, and I and J.Yip are the chief layout editors. Kinda cool huh? So that means I'll be teaching the rest on how to do photoshop..etc..and the layout of the school newspaper. After that, I went home, used the com. I met a really sweet girl named Dawn, Through vanessa's tagboard. Then i went to the gym and back home.

On Friday, I had an averagely-fun day, had tution after that. Nothing much happened. On saturday, I had tution, and maths tution again after that. Then, I went out with Anton and Calvin. We played like, 2 hours of DOTA in lanlab, it was quite fun lah. With calvin's help i was owning anton in the second round though he defeated me on the first. After lanning, we went to church. It was really cool. The people are so friendly. After church..play dota again, for a couple of hours. then anton had to leave..and i left soon after. went to macdonalds to have dinner and got fetched home.

Well, that leaves today. I had an interesting talk on buddhisim today. it's quite funny. anyway, now I'm going church. It's quite fun and nice to attend and listen to them talk, because really, some of them make sense. it's true to Buddhisim as well. They are similar in many ways! Really. That's why I like it. But I think, I'll remain a buddhist-freethinker. About the simalarites. really, it's quite cool and shocking! Like for example:


"Ashes to ashes, Dust to Dust" : " We must all accept that all things are impermanant."

" We must accept that we have sinned." : " All of us have to know we suffer, no matter what."

" Trust the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, he will make your path straight." : " Dharma( Community ) and teacher show the way, but the buddha points the right direction."


weird huh? haha. It's really cool. anyway, I'm going to write the tribute thing now.