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/ 3/30/2008 10:55:00 PM
Sunday, March 30, 2008
hey.
This week's service was really powerful, not just because of how awesome it always is, but because how much i realised how church is so God-driven, everywhere, whatever it is. This week i nearly decided to leave church (i'm not joking.) I really was in an absolute mess, i wasn't on really talking terms with people that much, and generally attitudes were getting on my nerves until i really decided on saturday afternoon that i needed a break. I faced problems i couldnt really solve, I met people whom i love and try to love, but i've caused only hatred and plain disgust towards and i can honestly say that all this really deviated me away from my path with God, Ministry was really not working out, & the relationship with God wasn't really going, I honestly felt that i was spending more time in sin than with my parents. I really felt that this saturday was the end point (something like a failed titration, the hand of power loses grip of the flask and it just breaks, sending the cautiously balanced liquid out of control and down all the way) and i decided to tell darryl this saturday that i would not be coming back to hoGc. During service it just felt ironic jumping and praising and worshipping Jesus when i knew that this could be most probrably the last time i'd ever set foot in heart of God. I prayed to God, He didnt answer, i lost my patience, i wanted to get out during service The really powerful thing was Pst How's preaching; it just drew me near, and as i listened word for word i realised that thru Pastor God was just speaking so clearly to me. Attack life. Have faith. God wants some things to die and rot, so that at the end He can ressurect them and have that miracle happen, just as Lazurus was raised from the dead. What are the stones in your life that you need to have removed? I'm thankful to God that He saved me from leaving the second time, although i've lied countless times of how i'm going to be His servant and never leave His side. Looking at what's been going on, i've really learnt how to appreciate God and His never-ending mercy. This is where i can really say that It's great to have God in my life. Pst lia once said that Pursuing Jesus is a never ending, restless cycle of surrender, worship and discipleship. I've got faith that this time it's going to be different. |
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