wow,

God really showed me the meaning of power.



These few weeks, blessing after blessing after blessing after blesssing just comes and comes..from one single prayer, God gave me what i needed right now and then.


I learnt to be faithful and to believe in belief.


I learned how to have faith in having faith.


It's this undeniable, unbreakable continuum that is formed between me and God.


I can't deny anymore, that My God does everything, abundantly, above all i seek.



I see things beyond people, it's just so amazing.


It's not how pretty or ugly they are, not how smart or stupid, it's not for me to decide anymore, what matters is their spiritual lives.


Do they have God?






I'm just beginning to go up another level, and it's awesome.








I'm gg to be in higher places. I'm gg to face higher temptation.





But i'm gg to stay strong and guard my heart,


and resist the devil.






Im gg to know more abt God thru the heart, and really live for Him.



I'm happy with the joy of the Lord, I really feel it inside me.






And i'm burning with a fire in my heart i can't understand but yet feel pleased by.


I feel that it's gg to move fast and move hard, very soon.


It's going to move up to a new level again and again.




Fifi told me today: "This is only the start. You thought you cld never be someone great, or someone powerful, But i'm telling you it's Possible and God wants you to know through all this that it's possible."



"Open up your heart to Him. Know Him through the heart.."


"Have Faith."









I believe in God, Jesus and Spirit.



And I have faith and peace in my heart that God's going to bring me up to a new level.


no more emoness

I'm passion-less

But peaceful.



I knw that it's taken care of, my future.




Because,


I live for Jesus.

wow, i got 15 points.





15 points can go many places.


15 points can go JC.
15 points can go MI.
15 points can go Poly.
15 points can go Army.
15 points can go overseas.
15 points can go nowhere.
15 points can go somewhere






But i choose, my 15 points to Glorify God.

Hi,


I don't care if i do badly,
I don't care if i do well,
I don't care if i do moderately.


All i care abt is that when i recieve that results


Is that i'll keep rmb that it's God's plan.


And i'm gg to use it to glorify Him no matter what it is.





Even if my world falls I will say, Above all, I live for your glory.


I wonder how it'll be.



I guess i'll find out today.






I LIVE FOR JESUS!

Hi.












Some stuff that's been gg on in my mind these few days.



I just noticed a big Change.


For me, it's no longer about me being happy.


I just realised that if there's something God needs..i tend to move towards it more than succumb to my emotions and the concience.

:)




I was doing BM yesterday, cleaning the church, and i was in the toilet filling the pails, & during that time pastor How came over and had a little chat with me.


Even thou it's just a ten sec thing, i really learned that pastors do care and really go the distance for us.


Even if it's a stressful conference and people are everywhere, They take the time to talk to the regular members of the church, to give words of life, to spur us on.


I really am happy to have such a spiritual father and mother as Pst How & Lia, understanding, caring, teachers.









It's such a destiny God's given me.




I can't deny it!




That second of how i knew Zhenghui, the girl who wld bring me to church


The freak accident that we became friends,


How i became antichristian in my earlier years,


How i came over so many bad testimonies in God,


& How she invited me to the heart of God,


It's no coincidence, It's a plan (:






God's plan.




Although today i'm tired and exhausted, I've failed in duty time and time again, I've screwed up so much stuff,



I can't help but say that God's such a great God.




Loving, caring, seeking the best for us.





I'm gg to surrender all to Him over again.

It's time to fly.

WOOHOO!


Oh man. It's great! I managed to learn crazy!!! XDDDDD



alright man.


It's gonna go all for the Glory of God!

alright.


no more emoness
no more chaos in my life


just worship, praise and love

and out from the bottom of my soul i'm gna build up a great foundation

on in a house and a rock of mine which i will use to serve and protect God's people


on that foundation will be a pillar which i will stand to hold up the anointed Godly Leaders of our time.




It's no longer that soul inside that takes control, but the spirit of God inside directing my paths and using my body.

I had enough of myself.



I'm going to open myself to Jesus for Him to kill me,



And i'm gna let him burn up the parts of my life and let Him live inside of me.




from now onwards, no compromise for Christ, forever and ever and ever.









Enough of Billy,

It's Christ that lives inside this body.

Its not going to be defeat,


but victory, after victory, after victory, after victory

I had enough with myself





These battles inside my own head are destroying my state of mind, I'm becoming nothing more than a hinderance to people, a piece of meat bent on 'serving' with a tired, weak stupid attitude.


Since when did i become so mindless?






I hate, and love myself, Because i've come this far, because ive screwed up so many things, because i'm too emotional, becuase i'm too siao, because i'm socially inept.



I wld just scream out to the world. Just why, why was i made socially crazy?










I hate and love people, I detest, yet im attracted to them. There's this thin line that really stands between love and hate


And recently it's been going down to hate and really tearing my melancholy eyes into pieces



I cant Sleep

I've been eating more

I've been taking out my stress on the comp

It's because of myself?




Everything was going so well until i stepped in

D2 in itself.




I dont know.










shit. I need to stop thiking like this. God please help. help.
I need to be less voliatile.

I know God is there.
I know He can change me.
I know that this can be resolved.


I need to watch it.



Is it going back in itself? I'm becoming emotional agn



I wld just love to say i'm defeated and lie dead and finish the race right now

((ZONE-D)) - sent 1/14/2008 8:29 PM:
sure! THANKS

((ZONE-D)) - sent 1/14/2008 8:29 PM:
BYEBYEEEEEEEEEEEE

((ZONE-D)) - sent 1/14/2008 8:29 PM:
YOU DIDN'T WAIT FOR ME TO SAY BYE!

((ZONE-D)) - sent 1/14/2008 8:29 PM:
): <

((ZONE-D)) - sent 1/14/2008 8:29 PM:
bb8







Don't you just love Valerie Han! :D

I just really am in a limbo of emotions.

I'm tired but i cant sleep.

I'm worried but comforted.

I'm happy and sad.

I feel really sian about school tomorrow,


But it's just one thing that's really standing out and it's really pushing me on: It's that Innova Junior College is not just another place where i will study; It's where i can be a light to people. It's where i can finally say to Jesus, this is where i want to be your light.

What spurs me on is the sight that one day innovians beside me will be in Heart of God church raising their hands and lifting Jesus.

Even though i'm in for the first six weeks, I'm going to make the best of the best of it i've ever made of time in my life..

I'm gonna go in there and bring people in.


It hurts, it sucks and i dont like it in there.




But God showed me the way.



"Who will i send? Who will go for me? To the ends of the earth, who will rise up for their King?"

& This is the absolute cry of my heart from the inside out:

"Here I am Lord, send me. Lord, where You go or whatever You command I will follow, even to the ends of the earth. To my death will i go, to the deepest place or the highest mountian, to the best and worst places in existence. I will go for You becuase you are my Lord, you died for me, you forgave me, you showed me the way, you blessed me, you suffered for me."


Just say the word Lord, say the word..


That's just what i want

I dont want peace

I dont want rest

I dont want money

I dont want a girlfriend

I dont want glory

I dont care what others say or think

I dont care what i go through or what JC or poly or workplace i go



At the end of the road

I just want to see that i've done everything i can do for others


and that everyone i see


is saved in the arms of my Father God Jesus


I want to serve my King

I want to worship Him


I want to hear Him say at the end of every day, "Hey Billy, you did it. You ran the race you kept the faith, you fought the good fight. Well done my good and faithful servant."


and i just want to hear six words from my loving God..

Hi everyone.





Woah, looking back on the past years and the accomplishments, milestones and efforts i've made, i'm really happy man.

Significant stuff, 04-07


04-
Gotten into ACSBR.
Started on Publications ACS.
Found my passion in English Literature.
Did web design for Publications.

05-
Topped the class for History.

06-
Rose up to be a leader in Publications, Design Dept.
Did ACSDAY issues for whole of this year.
Did Honours night booklet.
Entered ST competition, obtained merit.
Accepted Christ, (1 Nov 2006)

07-
Helped in ACS carnival 07
Did ACSDAY issues for this year
Did honours night booklet
Attended Emerge 07
Heart of God church moved to Singpost!
Start of Discipleship
Awarded with a distinction in Honours Night
Change of CG - d5->d2
FINISH OLEVELS!
Started serving in Publishing House
Parachute Band Concert
Zone Camp
Major Spiritual Breakthroughs in direction, vision and people
Vacation Bible School
Major Spiritual Breakthroughs in wisdom, knowledge and boldness (Father's Heart)
Team Discipleship
Started Integrating people

-08
Going to serve on the worship team.




haha.

It seems like It's really acceleration! Like Church's vision for us, we really accelerated. from 04-07, everything just went up exponentially.

With the vision this year on leadership, i just can't wait for my life to start taking flight in Christ Jesus.

I'm sure this is going the be the greatest year of my life ever yet.


Things may be going wrong, I may be shoved into places i hate, I may have battles with myself, But i'm sure that that's just God preparing me to be someone in Him.

That Cell Group Leader.
That Worship Leader.
That designer for God.


I live for Jesus.