There's just alot of stuff i need to get out of my system!

Its just these few days

I feel like pouring out my heart but its stuck. I dont realy feel the presence of God that much and its such an ache..


Everyday is a battle with myself, my feelings and emotions

and it feels so tiring to just push against myself

One side of me is just thinking

The other believing.


Doubts are just cast so heavily into my mind and soul and it just is a battle and a hard vicious fight against myself!

And i'm not sure how to think or say anything anymore

I would stand up and say Jesus is changing me but its different


I dont know anymore!


There's alot of things and her


Everyday i just see her and it's a tough battle

Friends and closer

But its just a wanting and somebody i can't have

A longing that i'm really aching for and really wanting love and maybe that little, Hey, we've got so much in common or hey, i kinda like you

But i know that people are depending on me and i need to help my church

I know that i have a destiny in God

I struggle with myself every day and every day is a battle either won or lost
and it seems it's no movement


It's a weary stalemate.



It's just that i really feel tired of fighting



but one thing i know is that God's gonna help me and give me strength

I feel so sleepy and tired but God sees.

And sees.