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/ 7/30/2006 09:16:00 AM
Sunday, July 30, 2006
I've been posting less and less, maybe i think it's because i don't think it's worth posting anymore. Why should i let out my feelings for others to see so they can get pissed at me. It's not my purpose to piss people off. I don't know if i should continue blogging or not.
One strange thing's been happening. I don't know why, but i think i'm becoming emotionless. I don't seem to care about death, life, everything. Just empty. No fun, It's like nothing in the world makes me smile and have fun. Maybe it's because of me. I am particulary sick of myself. Compared to me, everyone else is so much smarter, I am in a crap school, everyone else has so much fun with friends, I'm being disturbed most of the time. As i always tell others "things will look up for the better" should i look up on my own life? Is my life even worth bothering? I seriously have no idea why i feel like this. It's like I'm jealous of everyone else for having fun most of the time while i'm just a moody son of a bitch. Yesterday i went bowling with myself. i beat my own high score, i got 190 and four strikes in a row, with a spare after that. I'm still not smiling, i don't know why. I really think that alot of you people think that i'm just acting to get attention or i'm overreacting or everything, or just making fun of people for me own benefit, but please. You don't really understand, all you're asking for me to do is to just wake up but how do i wake up? Give me some time to figure out, I'm not a normal person allright? Please, Try being in my shoes for once. To everyone who asked me to cheer up, especially rachel, thank you. |
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