This is going to be a shortish post.

Okay, the past few weeks i've not been in good mood. So sorry for the outbursts, just please understand i'm not a crazy freak or suicidal as people see me, I just need some time to sort myself out. Taking on a responsibility like i am doing now is not easy. I have to work many hours to get things done, and when others don't cooperate i get really pissed off because work is not done. Plus, I've been sick, and today i took three tests but screwed up one. Congratulations to me. Anyway, I'm working hard on ACSDAY the school magazine, The honours night brochure, and i'm in a competition for my cca, While I have to read the english teacher, go tution almost every day, and work every night. I don't really feel well after everything, and i'm generally a really tired person. so yeah. give me some air to breathe guys okay? I simply cannot let anyone down, i can't afford to let anyone down.


I'm going to post later on the stuff i did, keep your eyes peeled people.

To rachel: You are really sweet you know. thanks alot. alot. (:

Tag replies:

Bernice: I'm just moody..something's really changed and missing in my life. Trying to adjust and live without it. Thanks alot okay. Though i've only known you a few days..it shows that you're really caring..(: thanks.

Wanjing: I remember. Thanks for that, (: The world i guess is cruel. It's just so sad to be sitting behind a computer screen not being able to reach a hand out to help..

Siyin: Thanks for answering my problems..and you did help okay. Sorry if i offended you or pissed you off, I didn't intend to do anything okay! I'm just really really trying to get things straight!


Yingbin: Hey..I missed you so so so much k. <3 Thanks for answering..I think maybe that too..how long is forever anyway? We never know i guess.


Ian: Thanks man..haha!

Siyin: okay..sorry if i pissed you off..

anqi: thank you..i'm better..

zw: I didn't intend to be one sided and diss everything okay? Please understand, I just am feeling down and trying to make myself better! Sorry if i offended you, and i am trying very hard to make things better. So please understand and forgive me allright? hai. thanks for your concern.


I am just..fed up and really sick and tired..i know alot of you just detest me..Forget it.

Today was mindless.

I woke up in the morning, had a freaking stomachache and it was as if i crapped my guts out, so i skipped school and saw the doc, who said i have a possible intestinal or digestive virus. Crapola. (Literally.) After that plethora of chaos i ate at the prata cafe and went back home to do some work. I finished some science and math and took a bus to rodrigues..which was bloody, friggin long. Sometimes well i think it's great to have long bus rides, Just realised that it provides me with a vast amount of time to think and cool down. Speaking of which, i shall post about my previous post later. During rodrigues, the korean girl came again. Went home with her laters on fourteen. I dropped off at park mall and went over to plaza sing to wander around..bought a pick. Went to kfc and grabbed a burger for dinner..and went to the mrt. sat there for a while, started thinking and just clearing up alot of stuff in my head..

Enough about today..The last post i made was made in anger and misery..I'm seriously tired and sick..and i mean literally sick. I'm very angry at myself now, letting my emotions get the better of me because i alrealdy know that some people really just find me disgusting and terrible but act as if they are normal just because they don't want to be impolite. I know how it is sometimes to see me one-sided and very irritating. I'm just a socially low person and i need to learn. please understand and give me some time, I cannot control my anger and other stuff. really. sorry especially to everyone i offended.



I am stuck with this melacholic song..I love it very much. It's called Victoria..Probrably a song about misery and looking aimlessly for the future..much like i am i guess..


-Victoria.

Don't know why Tori came by
But I could see by the look in her eyes
Tori'd been driving round the town for awhile
Playing with the thought of leaving

Don't know why Tori just smiled
Mentioned something about how you were right
Must have been hard to see through the tears she was hiding
She said, "I might not be seeing him soon,
Got a few things I've been waiting to do."

Hey, Tori came by
Tori came by tonight
Hey, Tori came by
She says to say goodbye

Looked outside at the car in the drive
And the suitcase on the back seat inside
Sure it's so she can't look out behind at the road
She said, "I might not be seeing him soon,
Got a few things I've been waiting to do."

Hey, Tori came by
Tori came by tonight
Hey, Tori came by
She says to say goodbye

Don't look down
She seemed all right
You might be asking, "Where is tori tonight?"
Somewhere out on the highway
I'm sure that she's fine


I might not be seeing him soon, Got a few things I've been waiting to do...

The paradox is that people do not practice what they preach in all.
-unknown.


I'm just going to say what really makes me fed up, pisses me to the core then just get on with my life.

One fucking thing. Love. I understand some has experienced it and there is some good sense in it. I have found several answers and opinions. Yet still? When a boy and girl date, what do they hope for? although they have each other to care about, can provide each other with support, what is the ultimate goal? When you make that commitment or seal it with a kiss, can you keep that promise? When you tell that precious person of yours, "I'll love you forever and never let you go." How long is forever? Although there are many theroies to this; We love because god loved us, Love makes the world go round, Love lifts us up where we belong. What are we doing to ourselves and why. I will not deny that in some part of my life i will love. but still, the question is why do we love although we know the finality of being together is breaking apart?

I do not think i can love, i am particulary heartless and very unintresting, but still i cannot stand girls and boys saying "I really love you i won't let you go" and then 6 hours later hold the hand or kiss some other guy/girl. Where is your sense of loyalty and honour?
I know where. Up your ass. You people who love and breakup with "tears" of sadness. Get a life. People won't care about you bitching about how big your boyfriend was. get a fucking life. In a few years time. O levels. can't you see that there's so much to live for other than for a guy or a girl?
Handle yourself before you can handle other's emotions! Use your sense of logic! Nabeh!


"I will love you forever" <- Pointing a gun to your head and telling someone you love to shoot.

Today i was sick. damn it.
In the morning i woke up and i felt like shit..i went to bathe for school
But when i came out of the bathroom i started to burn up.
a few miniutes later i started to feel like dizzy.
so my mum took the car and sent me to the doctors.
but strangely, there was a delay cause my mom had to do a deal in hong kong over the phone
and then when we left we went out to the road
but suddenly the car broke down.
So my dad came all the way from the office
to fetch me to the doctors!
when i went there, i dragged myself to the front desk and got myself in the waiting list
and then the doctor saw me after a few miniutes
and gave me medicine to take
After that my mum went to the bank to draw money
and i took my medicine in the car
but i couldnt take it and i puked!
but after that, i felt better somehow.
So after that i went home and i slept and i started to feel better
i was sweating all over and i realised that i felt better when i sweated!
then i remembered what my tution teacher told me about babies and fevers.
they wrap the baby in a cloth and make it sweat
and the sweat evaporates, cooling the body down!
so i did that and i felt a WHOLE lot better
thanks to the medicine too i felt much better
and now here i am recovering (:
it was a weird day but pretty much great in the end!

To be forgotten.

Post two hundred and eighteen.

Main dish: Sauteed Bitter Sadness with Everlasting Contemplation, Served with a glass of tears.

I have been unhappy the last few days. Perhaps for the following reasons i think i am saddened:
-I've been doing work that i can't do.
-I've been cooped up far too long in the same lifestyle.
-I really don't think anyone bothers about me.
-I think my progress of improvement is slow, no matter how hard i try.
-I have a sixth sense that my friendship with new friends is strengthening- and the friendship with past friends is wearing off.
-I think I honestly am ugly.
-I think I have a huge ego.
-I have problems with controlling others, therefore resulting in hindrances.
-I don't think alot of people read my blog, or bother to read what's inside (If that's so, why am i posting?)
-I had a stupid incident that brought out my anger last saturday.
-Israel and Palestine are at war again; Countless killed over religion and dying for their causes.
-I don't seem to get an answer for the things i question.

And perhaps that is why i've begun to:
-Get angry more
-Work less
-Get tired easily
-Stopped playing guitar so much
-Contemplate about life
-Slipped into a mild depressive state
-wondered about how much i suck

and maybe that's why i feel that
-friends have forgotten me
-I've been a fool in past, present, future.
-I've been a nuisance and some people act like friends to me just to please me
-I think i should just get a life and be realistic.


Post later, i feel tired.

How do you pick up the threads of an old
life? How do you go on, when in your heart
you begin to understand. There is no going
back. There are some things that time
cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep.
That have taken hold.

Sometimes you'd wish things had not happened,
Things had not come.

"So do all who live to see such times...but
that is not for them to decide. All we
have to decide is what to do with the
time that is given to you."

Billy Zheng's THINGS TO DO, PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE.


-Present

STUDIES
Practice E-maths to mastery, Especially weak topics.
Improve english and Litrature to A1 Level.
Buck up History and Social Studies, Study LORMS and attain at least level 7 answer.
Understand at least one chapter of A-maths.
Organise myself more often; Improve efficency.
Physics and Chemistry, Attain at least A2 Level, and keep at pure science level.
Hit B4-A2 for all subjects excluding A-maths the next 10 weeks.

LESUIRE
Play less games, Design more.
Listen to more music artists; Namely bands which play Jazz, Pop, and Alternative Rock.
Stop listening to bands like 50Cent, Metallica, Children of Bodom and Pussycat Dolls.
Go cycling at east coast/Get a bike.
Spend more time with friends i have neglected, and those who i have spent time alrealdy.
Catch up on friends whom i have not spoken to for a long time.

PERSONAL
Improve my social skills; get angry less, be less paranoid, understand feelings better.
Be nice to family whenever i can.
Lose weight, Bench press at least 20 kg at the end of the year, Do at least three pullups.
Go to the Gym and Swim more.
Explore other areas of lesiure, take up more martial arts, learn skills, and improve tai ji.
Improve ability to analyze music.
Revamp perception and artistic skills; Get a new angle on life and place it in art.

GUITAR
Play more songs.
Learn how to read notes and timing.
Remember chords better.
Research more into other artists- Steve Vai, Billy Preston, Ommar Libbert, Craig Chaquico.
Teach guitar to my friends.
Learn more tricks and techniques to improve playing.


-Future

STUDIES
Get into Ngee ann polytechnic, and study Mass Communication.
Study advanced design and art.
Study Music.
Go into University, (possible overseas?)
Understand the concept of Buddhisim, Christianity, and other religions.

LESIURE
Design part time.
Listen to all kinds of music artists, Jazz to rock, Old and New, Crap and Good ones.
Go on that europe/usa/africa backpacking thing with Gerald when i'm 21.
Be proeficent in all types of tai ji.

PERSONAL
Spend time with all friends; Keep and treasure all friends from now to who knows when.
Improve social skills more.
Get a girlfriend.

GUITAR
Be proeficent in guitar, and have advanced knowledge on techniques.
Form a band with Farina, Gerald, Melvin and Fedrick.


-Unsorted
Have the second level of the house to myself.

So. haven't posted for a few days. I'm in the school library right now, and i'm just going to post what i really am feeling, and leave the days and other stuff later. You know what? I feel like shit. There are ten million people out there studying and driving and doing work and other important stuff. And, yet there are people who whine, talk, rant, and shit their lives away. A message to those guys and girls. WAKE UP! The world is moving, Time is ticking, and you're spending half of your precious life, talking about shit and whining about, "ohh, that girl sucks! She stole my friend!" or "Wah lao, he bump into me never say sorry! I call gang come! or whatever." Honestly these people plain need to realise. Time is precious and you're being a dick by whining to someone else. You're like going, "oh oh oh, I'm fifteen years old and nobody loves me.." and people are like shut up you're stupid? Come on.

-35 mins later-

allright. in the school library again, I'm sitting with keane and some guy, and over on the side i can see Jia Zhen, Chew and Fitzgerald. Since i have nothing to do, i will blog about my past few weeks.

-rewind one week or so-

On the friday before the nanyang carnival, i went out with Gerald and daniel soo to watch superman. overall it was okay lah, but i wished that there was more scenes and less pointless dragging. I think it was like three friggin hours long or something. So after movie, i went to the new tution center for Chem. It was good. The teacher (Miss Chee) was quite straightforward. I got the points. The place is kinda cosy, it's a room at the basement of balmoral plaza. There were a couple of people there- A guy from St Pats, Some other guy, A sec two girl, and a sec three one. The sec three girl kept on looking at me for some reason O.o

On saturday, nanyang carnival. had fun, it was a nice place. we went with song and anton, plus three other guys from barker. We walked around..blah blah...went with song's friend to somewhere else..Then we went canteen. We bought some drinks and food, i can't remember what it was but i think it was..two burgers and a coconut? bleh. anyway, I suddenly remembered about pei jia and amanda but sadly i couldnt find them. So we walked on. Six miniutes later, Benjammin wanted to get a drink. so we went to some classroom to get something. Then suddenly. This girl lah. She go and force me to buy brownies! =.=' Anyway i decided not to be stingy and buy from her since she really was serious and enthusiastic. It was quite nice actually, i went back to look for her to buy for my sis but she was gone with the wind~ After that weird escapade she was talking to ben (i think.) then we somehow told her we were from barker then she went on telling us about yin li and pin li..blah blah..yeah. After that encounter we went on walking and walking and walking..went downstairs again and we saw melvin and brother. Talked awhile..then went around..saw Jeremy Ho but didn't say hi. We were queueing up for some haunted house thing which in the end wasn't scary at all lah. After that, went tai ji class, learnt three new moves and went home.

-skip to next friday-
After school, i had no rodrigues, and school ended early so we went to gerald's house to jam. I brought my classical and electric, it was quite fun. Ben was playing half life two and we were playing guitar..Gerald learnt Tears in heaven and he showed me..he's quite okay lah. I Taught him how to play Incubus's Pardon me Intro, and Why Georgia by John Mayer, and then we went on to look at tabs by bigger than my body and leech. after tabs..played half life two for a while..then went to paly guitar again, Realised my middle string sucks and needs changing. bleh. Half an hour later, we went to eat dinner..there was a barbecue and the food was ever-so-salty. After that..went tution..Saw the girl who likes to stare at me. Realised that she looked like xinan and was quite cute. heh.

-skip to yesterday-
Went to school, did work, finished amaths and essay for english. Went cca for second meeting. it was quite stupid but damn funny. we came up with what..stupid stuff like 9 ways to cheat a taxi driver and toilet review. We were planning to have like..yacob stand in front of the toilet and point a microphone at it LOL! 9 ways to cheat a taxi driver..we did something stupid like strip naked or say you drive me wrong place i call gang or something like that. after cca, went to the club, exersised 1 hour straight. rocked, too bad yuepeng didnt wanna go swimming.

okay have to go. post later.
Vera: you can stop bugging me now, i finally posted (: by the way, your name's on the friends list alr. ^^



Ignorance is the root of all evil. If ignorance is Eliminated, and replaced by knowledge, one will experience nibbana, the end to birth, suffering and death.
-Siddarta Gautama, The Buddha.

So. haven't posted for a few days.

I'm in the school library right now, and i'm just going to post what i really am feeling, and leave the days and other stuff later. You know what? I feel like shit. There are ten million people out there studying and driving and doing work and other important stuff. And, yet there are people who whine, talk, rant, and shit their lives away. A message to those guys and girls. WAKE UP! The world is moving, Time is ticking, and you're spending half of your precious life, talking about shit and whining about, "ohh, that girl sucks! She stole my friend!" or "Wah lao, he bump into me never say sorry! I call gang come! or whatever." Honestly these people plain need to realise. Time is precious and you're being a dick by whining to someone else. so guys. just wake up. wake up. Whatver. blog later. have to go for maths.


Vikramjit: You smell like shit.

Due to constant pressure, this poor boy has to blog. Sat = nanyang carnie, was fun, had lotsa nice stuff to do etc etc. hehe. met yin li's friend there coincidentally, while being brainwashed into buying brownies. done. HEEE. SEE? I POSTED. I"M SUCH A GOOD BOY. weee. went jamming today. nice place, nice people.

fine. post. whatever.

Saturday right? Nanyang carnival. Okay lah, I was quite eager to go because i didnt go carnies for long time alr. Anyway. i went in with song, anton, ben poh, and joshua poh. so nt bad lah. the fist thing we saw was this..viking boat thingy. we were staring at it with utmost fascination before we realised how stupid we were and laughed for no rhyme or reason. After that we went in. take a look at sth. whatever. post later.

This is an article i was doing just now, take a look.


In the recent times, we have seen schools changing their schools to co-ed to suit the needs of students, being it educational, social, sexual, just to make the school look better, or to really build up the educational stadards. We have also seen different responses to this suggestion: A green light for the students at ACS(I), and a rejection by Victoria High School, Because of resistance by the ex-alumni of the school. So, after pondering about the concept of girls in schools, we thought- Why not Acs Barker road be co-ed?
Taking an angle at things, several people actually think girls in Acsbr would be good for the school and the student population! Firstly, If girls are accepted, There would be another school for girls to get into, therefore providing the all rounded, greatly appreciated and beautiful education system to more and more people. The school population would also be larger, and therefore more people would contribute to the school- in terms of resources, etc etc. Having girls in school helps the students too! In seeing competition, perhaps it would be that the boys would do try to do better and strive harder to prove their mettle. To impress girls, boys would try and perhaps train hard to win a competition. With girls as a powerful motivator in both studies and cca, the standards of education will rise and cca will become more active. In addition, discipline will change for the better in the view of introducting the co-ed system. Boys will no longer attempt to do things that are deemed socially inappropriate and " Mentally Retarded." In the case of social benefits, Boys and Girls will get to know the opposite sex, and about relationships.
A student who did not want to be named agreed to this point, and said: "Boys and girls will be shy with each other and not be able to behave properly in front of the opposite sex. All schools stream students into co-ed enviroments, such as JC, Polytechnics, and even in The ITE. If co-ed is introduced during secondary and primary school, perhaps boys and girls will be more comfortable, and will not be taken for granted in any case by the opposite sex.""Chloe Chan, 13, a student in xinmin secondary also agreed to the point that girls would benefit the students socially. "I think that they should allow girls in as guys wont be so shy with girls in the future if they grow up in a co-ed school-they will be more sociable with the opposite gender in the time to come." Also, another student, Tan Siyin of Cedar Girl's School gave her comments. "I think that maybe they should put girls in the school because the boys would be less uncomfortable when it comes to jc/poly. Also, they might be motivated to work harder by the respective opposite sex." Others, think that maybe girls in the school will deter other obstacles, such as homosexualisim. "Because there is a less tendency to go gay in school, there will be less bad things evident in the school!" says Lim Teck Chai, 15, of class 3b2.

So maybe girls in the school is a good idea. But on the other hand, Girls may not be a good idea. A survey in a group of 30 people showed that over 75% agreed to the idea, however, several people disagreed. Some claim that girls will be a distraction to the students in the school. For example, Ezra Lee of 3A3 comments that if girls would affect his studies dramatically, he would go all out against the idea. The same is felt for some people that co-ed would cause problems instead of practical advantages. -Yacob's article-
So, in conclusion... blah blah. the end.

*updated*

It's not complete yet, so yeah. haha.

Post next time. sorry guys.
If you want mentions in the articles, tell me and i'll interview you. XD

After contemplating about my daily adventures to nowhere, i decided to post. right.

On Friday, there was school, it was some sports day stuff, but i didnt wanna attend. But anyway, my non-piakianess raged over the bad side of me and i was compelled to move against my will and reach school. So like, over 20 people from our class went? (That's alot of absentees, my class is made out of 40+)So i acutally regret going school. Anyway, my spirits were lifted up the moment that they said that there was free coke. oh my god. FREE COKE. F R E E. F.O.C. FREEE!!!! HOW MANY PEOPLE GET FREE COKE NOWADAYS? LIKE, OHMYGOD! =.=' lame. Anyway, like, there were so few people in the malcom run challenge that i actually felt a crushing stab of regret for not going to Bowling, Snooker or some other slack sport like Badminton. After the lame run, (no pun intended.) Yue Ming, Daryl, Yangsheng and Liangde came in at the same time as me, so we ran up SO EAGERLY to get the free coke, but alas to our dismay the free coke had not been delivered yet. In our unstoppable rage over the freebies, we took the nearest prefect on duty and tore him apart using superhuman rage built up by the tension of getting 100% ice cold free coke.

The next few hours were damn boring. I went to the sports hall to watch some basketball match, Thouburn v.s SVM, etc etc, whatever. Then suddenly, somehow, somewhere, someplace...I fell asleep right there. Although i woke up one and a half hours later, the matches were still on and i was turned from a sleeping beauty into a crazed impatient Son of a bitch. I blew up and cursed so loudly that the f*ck i uttered reverbarated on the walls of the sports hall. Meanwhile, around 20 miles away, Daniel Soo was playing badminton. and he got released at twelve, friggin o clock, when news reached me via illegal sms, i got pissed. but anyway, during the prize presentation i fell asleep again, woke up when they were all standing up to sing the school anthem, and then finally the painful shitty ordeal was over. It was so moving. seeing the freedom of going home was rushing into my brain so much that tears came out of my eyes like 69849632431503092WHATTHEHELL liters per second. I ran like the wind to gerald's house, changed up and went with him to PLAZA SINGAPURA! Anyway, we met daniel there, and we went to watch superman! it was quite a nice show, exept that i expected him to like make more damage or screw someone up so bad the show would be rated r(a). I know this sounds so wrong, but i am genuinely telling the truth, i wanted him to screw someone, SO BAD that he or she would never walk again. Anyway, the show ended, we went down to meet yue ming and his cousin-girlfriend. She was okay lah, i admit kind of cute, but not very pretty. so we went to the mrt station to see me off home. I went home, drank water, and went to this new tution center. It was ok, teacher was fine, students were okay. there was like two guys and two girls in there, one of them looked like a friggin slacker but the other three were okay lah. and there was this one girl who looked alot like xinan. we kept on staring at each other. O.o anyway, tution ended, ate dinner, went home, SLEEP! hooray.


i will post saturday and today later, i'm really not in the mood to type.

Misc designs and stuff i did